Dress Codes part 1

Etiquette: Dress Codes

Indecision about what to wear is one of the most visible manifestations of contemporary social confusion and insecurity. The elevation of comfort above all other considerations, the flawed belief that informality equals conviviality, and downright laziness have resulted in a contradictory and illogical dress sense.

Debrett's New Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners

• Overlooked Benefits

At the turn of the twentieth century dress codes were rigid and extensive protocols that prescribed specific attire for every conceivable social and leisure activity and tolerated little deviation. One hundred years later we have rid ourselves of such excessive constraints only to discover that along with the proverbial Edwardian bathwater we have also thrown out some very valuable benefits.

Social Guideposts

A Cigar Aficionado article titled “Going Formal” once observed that one of the primary drawbacks of discarding rules for appropriate dress is that “unbridled freedom often leads to chaos, confusion, frustrations and terrible insecurity.” Debrett's New Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners - Britain's authoritative etiquette guide – echoes these sentiments in the quotation at the top of this page. However, the book's author also points out that the tide is turning:

This is because of two fundamental human instincts that have been overlooked by the slobs. One is the ancient need of people to decorate themselves, which started long before the first murmuring of civilisation and continues today. The other is our very natural wish to please others, be admired by our peers and attract a mate. Add to this the security that a few unwritten rules can bring, and the enduring need for dressing up becomes clear.

It is therefore ironic that the appearance of the Black Tie dress code on an invitation causes panic in so many men. Unfamiliar with the concept, they view the looming event as an intimidating test of sartorial skills which they know are sadly lacking. It is no wonder then that so many style and etiquette advisors begin their instruction to men with a reminder that the black-tie “test” comes with a complete set of answers guaranteed to ensure top grades to any student that follows them. (It is also little wonder that so many experts lament the stubborn male tendency to figuratively - and literally - insist on traveling without a roadmap.) As Men’s Wardrobe so succinctly puts it: “Black tie is your friend, not your enemy.”

Sense of Occasion

In addition to providing clarity and self-confidence, prescribed attire also helps to generate a sense of occasion. Combined with a given etiquette it fashions a social ritual that elevates one type of happening above another. A four-star restaurant or an opera house may be far more elaborately decorated than a local pub or sports stadium, for example, but if customers apply the behavior and dress of the latter then the former becomes less unique and therefore less special. Unfortunately this fact is increasingly evident as the once noble quest to end aristocratic snobbery manifests itself in a growing culture of democratic slobbery.

Act of Consideration

Just as a host or hostess can show consideration towards guests by providing clear dress guidelines, so does a guest return the favor by being mature enough to honor them. As Debretts author John Morgan so eloquently points out “by being seen to make an effort you are paying your host or hostess a great compliment, as well as making yourself look your most attractive. After all, the short time required for getting yourself dressed is negligible compared with the hours the hostess might have put in preparing the party.”